FOOTBALL!


Ahem...This picture was painted by Ralph Steadman. Many pictures on this blog are painted by him. I just thought I'd say it for copyright reasons.

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NOT FUNNY, IGNORE
Have you ever had a day where you felt so bad, you wouldn't mind scooping your eyes out with a spoon or possibly with your own fingers?
I have nothing more to say and will not answer any questions.

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Ramblings heard from an Overdose of Air Recirculation
by Robert Fernandez

I was late. I jumped into the car and sped down the expressway. I reached 80 mph, but the traffic was bad and I had to slow down. I wanted the car to go faster but so did about 1,000 other people in the city. I was running late because the lady at the flower shop was taking her sweet time in giving me a corsage for my date. I had to wait as she talked on the phone and small children were running around the store. I grabbed one of the kids and shook her violently, yelling "Just stop that." She just laughed at me and asked me to do it again. I got my flower and raced home so I can get ready and race to Sarah's house.

I reached her house and saw through the window of her door her parents sitting at the kitchen table. I hesitated to enter but then I just said "fuck it, their hate for me will decrease after weeks or so." I went inside and after a funny look from her father, pictures were taken of us. We jumped inside the car and sped downtown to the Mexican restaurant.

We reached the place and I was hesitant to use the valet parking. I never used that type of service before and I was paranoid. It's just the way I am. I would especially hate talking to a cop:
----"Yes officer, that's how it happened. I handed the man the keys under my own free will. I even waved at him as he drove off. I didn't get suspicious until he threw my CD case out the window and entered the expressway. Of course, maybe his green jacket should have thrown me off too."-----
I gave up looking for a parking spot and gave the valet my keys under my own free will. We went inside and sat down.

Sarah couldn't eat most of the food there for religious reasons and I took it upon myself to eat enough meat for the both of us. The bill came and it ended up being $265. We each looked at the price, slowly put on our coats and quietly walked to the "bathroom."

We got to the dance and the place wasn't was full as described by many. In fact, I was disappointed. After getting into an argument with the black coat check person, we went to the gym.

We have a big gym but for some reason everyone was crowded in a small 25 x 25 ft area. I found that odd. In fact, the whole place looked odd to me. It was fun, however, elbowing people as we pushed ourselves deeper into the crowd.

We danced for quite a while before Sarah told me she was getting hot. She thought it was because of all the dancing but I knew the real answer. Everyone was compressed in this small square of a dance floor and dancing wildly. People were sweating, heartbeats jumped and people were breathing heavier. All those people breathing and re-breathing the same air. The dance floor was a cloud of re-breathed, hot dirty air and we were in the middle of that mess. I tried not to focus on it but the thought was filling my head as well as my lungs. No one else seemed to notice so I didn't say anything. FUCK! What if someone sneezed?!? I couldn't take it anymore so we left to get water.

The administration didn't plan on many people coming to the dance. This was evident in the fact that only 45 cups had been purchased. People were stealing gallons of water and holding them in canteens they had brought. Sarah and I went to the water fountain and there was a line. We decided to just suck on some ice cubes.

We left the dance and drove to a small after-party. While Sarah ran inside to get a parking permit, I waited in the car. From the car, I saw Andrew making crude hand gestures at me. I just shook my head and decided that I'm gonna have to pray for him an extra week. Sarah came back and we went to park the car. Walking to the party, a cab was circling the block and I entertained it with my drunken walk. He acknowledged with a kind honk. The party was nice. Sarah fell asleep at one point so I kicked her and said, "Let's go then."

The expressway was empty now so I decided to kick ass and burn rubber. I got the car going 100 and I looked over at Sarah. I looked because I wanted to see the look of terror on her face as I was about to release the wheel to clap along with the radio. To my surprise, when I looked at Sarah, she was sleeping. I turned the radio down a bit (not too much to jolt Sarah from her sleep), kept my hands at 10 and 2 and maintained speed until I reached her house. I dropped her off and raced home. While driving, I thought I was going to hit a cat or something in the middle of the road. I panicked and gave an "Oh SHIT" as I zoomed at it with the speedometer screaming 100. It turned out to be a paper bag so that's good. I got home and my parents were sleeping. I decided to do the same. I had already killed a paper bag that evening and Karma has a way of coming around.



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We went to dinner the other day with relatives that are hosting an exchange student from Brazil. I spent the day teaching her bad English slang just to fuck with her head. Let's say you receive a phone call:

Hello---> 'Sup
May I ask who this is?---> Who dis be?
Please hold one second---> Shit! MotherFucker!

I also told her that to say "Ok," she should say:
-----Fo' Sho'
-----Fo' Shizzle
or in some southern areas:
-----Fa' Sheezy

Now she's gonna go back to Brazil with her new found knowledge of our country. Am I a horrible person for doing what I did? Yeah, I guess I am.
USA USA!



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For Years, many battles have been fought on the fields of death. But in the Modern Age, There is only one destination for Victory. One location for utter defeat.

Prepare For Battle!



The game is set

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My site is saved!!!...for now that is.

I got pics back up thanks to a great free image hosting site.

Photobucket.com

NO ADS. NO BULLSHIT.

Also... I've been trying to get a buddy icon up for AIM. I have this.

But only one person seems to see it. If you see it, tell me so I'm not paranoid.

Back to studying...for real this time...I mean it...

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Free-host is proving to unreliable lately. The site has been fucking around with a lot of people recently and I am looking for other hosts. I may be able to use Yahoo, but I'm not 100% sure. I need to get the site fixed because what else am I going to do? Write interesting things?

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Funniest thing Sarah told me last night...

"Go ahead, take the cherry."

;-)

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This is me doing important homework:


Your element is Water. You are a deep person and a
good communicator. Incredibably loving and
loyal when your trust is gained and you are
fairly mature.Myterious to the utmost water is
in everything. One can be an Ocean or a river
but nobody truly knows you.


What's your element
brought to you by Quizilla

Back to work...I guess...fuck!

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Today, I was thinking of finding links to post on my links sidebar. Mainly, what I was looking for were two types of sites: pro-Bush stuff and anti-Bush stuff. You might disagree but I feel both sides of any argument need to be represented. Or at least I did.

When I looked for pro-Bush material. I found a site that disgusted me. This is the first site that popped up on Google when I searched "pro Bush." I am not an easy man to disturb, but this is garbage propaganda that has no remorse for human life. Fuck equal opportunity. Check this site out and tell me you're not disturbed. These are the people that represent all that is wrong in this country.

You can't understand how angry I am. Republicans are saying that Democrats are smearing facts. This is wrong on any level. Only hillbilly militants from South Carolina will like this site.

www.freerepublic.com/~probush

GOD help us all in 2004

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My mom started talking to me about drinking again today. She was yelling at me about why I could ever do anything so stupid. She was saying how next time I shouldn't drink mixed drinks. I should stick to drinking straight. The sweeter the drink, the more messed up I'll get. And after, I need to drink a lot of water and...

She slowly trailed off when she realized what she was telling me.

It funny when you get drinking advice from your mom. Odd, but funny nonetheless.

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"Something Happy"

There.
I finally wrote something happy on my blog. Leave me be.
(Rim shot)
(weak laughter)

Also thanks to Burdulis for telling me how easy it is to set up a comment system. So that's why the counter is all fucked up with a high number; trial and error and shit like that.
The end.

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" "When you're drunk, you try to get sober; When you're sober you try to get drunk." This was it. All alcoholics follow this vicious cycle of a mantra. In a sad way, everyone knows this mantra, yet most ignore it."

As true today as the day I wrote it. That's why Andrew; I have nothing more to say on the subject.

School is starting soon, which means I will soon be behind in school work. Fuck, you can't wrap your little minds around how fucked up I have already made this school year. So Much work!

Break's been fun. Wait....Yeah, it was. OK.

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To Sarah: Because I will never be able to apologize enough,
and to Edwards: I don't know why but I found your name on my apologies list.

Ramblings heard from a Regrettable Evening
By Robert Fernandez

I hadn't planned on drinking. I was going to be picked up at around 1. But when I got there, it was like walking into a candy shop. I had five hours to kill. I thought if I drink all I want now, it should pass through my system before I leave. I've done it before so why not now? But I was an idiot, as I always am, and drank too much too fast (something I've been known to do.)

I started out fine. I had about three drinks and I was nice and sober when I saw the movie. Maybe I should have eaten? I remember people saying to others not to drink on an empty stomach. If I remember correctly, I was one of those people saying that.

BUT it was when we got back to the house boat. The bar was now full and there was a list of drinks. I love lemon with a passion. That's a thing about being Mexican or just Latino in general, all of us love a good lemon. Shit, we call both lemons and limes, limon. I digress, when I saw the lemon on the bar, I got right in line. I had a kamikaze. It was like candy to me. I had a few other drinks, but the kamikaze is the only thing I remember.

I was buzzed. I felt good. I went outside. I didn't have my jacket on but I couldn't tell because the drinks had numbed my pain. Talked to all the other people, all should have been drunk with me. I did get to have an intellectual discussion with someone named Leo. Only person I really remember talking to. When you're drunk, you have no problems talking to strangers, you got more in common now. Actually, I do remember swearing a lot, I think every other word out of my mouth was a fuck, shit, or cabron.

I went up the steps but not inside. I leaned over the balcony and prepared to have the natural drunk cough. I magically had my jacket on, so that was nice. Sarah came by just to watch over me. But I sent her away; I didn't want her seeing me like this. All I remember thinking was about the first time I got drunk. A group of kids and I went driving to get some food. While they went inside to order, I stayed outside in the car. That night is full of shattered memories but I do remember an angel pin on the passenger side visor on the car. I talked to myself for, must have been, 20 minutes. Laughing at the sight of the angel over me on a late Saturday night which was really Sunday morning. The whole image was almost symbolic; almost poetic. But now, years down the line, Sarah, you are watching over me. You are my angel.

The minutes turned to seconds and midnight approached with fury that night. Everyone rushed inside quickly in preparation for the terrorists attacks. I was last but Sarah was with me. I felt so bad. This was a new year, a new me. And the source of the new me was being forced to stay with me outside as I couldn't bring myself to walk anymore. I asked her to turn around and I threw up behind a tree. I remember looking into a lake or river and thinking to myself that maybe, if I ran, I could reach it. Use the water to sober me up. I knew it wouldn't so I didn't try. A part of me wanted to do this for another reason though. I don't need to go into detail.

I was apologizing to Sarah. I knew I must have looked like a fuckin' moron but the apology must have been said. We went inside and I was shivering. I don't even remember being cold. I wanted to give her a bracelet I bought her for Christmas. I would have given it to her earlier, but she told me how she never wore bracelets. I thought that at least I don't look like some-kind of drunk moron. But I couldn't give it to her. Apparently, I already gave it to her five minutes earlier. I couldn't remember.

Andy left. I apologized to him. He was the one person I didn't want to see me drunk. Andy is smart, almost too smart. Well, at least smarter than me. And when I was drunk, I didn't really get smarter.

Edwards left. I apologized to Edwards. I don't remember why though. I think it was because I write such depressing blog entries. Well Edwards, I am sorry. But everything I write has a meaning. A piece of my heart is cut up and served on a platter every time I reach a keyboard. I don't write for other people. Only a fool would do that! I write my blog for me. So one day down the line, when all past wounds have healed, I can look back and say, "Man, I was an idiot." This is why I write. I can't stress that enough. When the school year is all done, I will have nothing left but this.

I left. I apologized to Sarah. I ruined everything. I have a bad habit of doing that. I thought one drink will get me relaxed. I was an idiot. I'm so sorry. I can't find words because those words don't exist. I will try to make this year a year of penance.

I got picked up. They knew I was drunk. I just apologized. Said a few lies and went to bed.

I'm writing this early in the morning. Or at least very early for New Year's day. Most people are sleeping right now, feeling good about themselves. Drunks can't sleep well. It's a natural bodily function to protect you so you don't die in your sleep. Also, sleeping on your side is another protection measure but it's a conscious one you have to make. Me? I felt so bad about what I had done, I slept on my back. I'm sorry to all and I understand everything that comes to me.

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