Outpost Nine :: Editorials :: I Am a Japanese School Teacher

"It was then I realized that, with great power, comes great responsibility. Me getting the stuffing poked right outta my ass and my dick sized up by tiny Japanese hands was a metaphor (isn't everything a metaphor?). It means that no matter what personal trials one may face...no matter how hard the times may be, how bleak the outcome may look, you can't give in. You can't submit to the ANGST! and wallow in moodiness and listen to Linkin Park songs on infinite repeat. No. You must face life head on, for if you do not, your Kancho Sense™ will shut down and you'll get a pair of fingers jammed up your asscrack.

Who am I? I am a Japanese school teacher."

It is this system that we shall call Japan.

It's best to read the other stories here so this story makes sense.

|

The Order of the Stick - by Rich Burlew

|

Grand Celestial Do : The Fighting Art of the Cosmos

Because violence transcends all boundaries.

|

Because I was bored and decided to be like everyone else. Be warned, these REALLY did pop up.

Put your ipod/Limewire/whatever playlist on shuffle.
Press forward for each question.
Use the song title as the answer to the question.
No cheating!

How am I feeling today?:
Play That Funky Music (White Boy)- Wild Cherry

Will I get far in life?
Play That Funky Music (White Boy)- Wild Cherry

How do my friends see me?:
Play That Funky Music (White Boy)- Wild Cherry

Where will I get married?:
Play That Funky Music (White Boy)- Wild Cherry

What is the story of my life?
Play That Funky Music (White Boy)- Wild Cherry

What was high school like?:
Play That Funky Music (White Boy)- Wild Cherry

How can I get ahead in life?
Play That Funky Music (White Boy)- Wild Cherry

What is the best thing about me?:
Play That Funky Music (White Boy)- Wild Cherry

How is today going to be?:
Play That Funky Music (White Boy)- Wild Cherry

What is in store for this weekend?
Play That Funky Music (White Boy)- Wild Cherry

What song describes my parents?:
Play That Funky Music (White Boy)- Wild Cherry

To describe my grandparents?
Play That Funky Music (White Boy)- Wild Cherry

How is my life going?:
Play That Funky Music (White Boy)- Wild Cherry

What song will they play at my funeral?:
Man Being Eaten By A Crocodile- Sound FX CD

How does the world see me?:
Play That Funky Music (White Boy)- Wild Cherry

Will I have a happy life?:
Play That Funky Music (White Boy)- Wild Cherry

What do my friends really think of me?:
Play That Funky Music (White Boy)- Wild Cherry

Do people secretly lust after me?
Play That Funky Music (White Boy)- Wild Cherry

How can I make myself happy?
Play That Funky Music (White Boy)- Wild Cherry

What should I do with my life?
Play That Funky Music (White Boy)- Wild Cherry

Will I ever have children?:
Play That Funky Music (White Boy)- Wild Cherry

What is some good advice for me?:
Play That Funky Music (White Boy)- Wild Cherry

How will I be remembered?
Play That Funky Music (White Boy)- Wild Cherry

What is my signature dancing song?:
Play That Funky Music (White Boy)- Wild Cherry

What do I think my current theme song is?:
Play That Funky Music (White Boy)- Wild Cherry

What does everyone else think my current theme song is?:
Play That Funky Music (White Boy)- Wild Cherry

What type of men/women do you like?
Play That Funky Music (White Boy)- Wild Cherry

|

Ah, there's nothing quite like a thick mist that can reacquaint a man with his mortality.

|

I Live!!!

...and so does Google. Happy April Fool's Day foo.

Google Romance

|